Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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