Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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