i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
