ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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