I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
