You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
