would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
