I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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