Whod you bang
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
