I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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