whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
