things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
