Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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