at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need a beard to bite.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
