Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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