I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
