yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
