i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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