I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
