I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize