I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
