Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you win again, gameday.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
