you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
