so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
