did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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