you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
