The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
3 2 1 whiskey
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
