even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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