I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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