How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
