I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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