D3 body, D1 cock
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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