I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
