Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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