you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
