I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
