I'm going to jail i love you
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize