i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize