so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
