Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
