Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize