hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
