I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
