Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
found the other keg... it's in the tree
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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