Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
