At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
