My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
