At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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