they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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