she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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