I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
