Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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