So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She needs sedatives and a leash
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
