just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
