My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
