she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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