It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
